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Have you ever felt like you are heading towards something completely unknown and yet you just know that it’s going to be ok?

Have you ever turned down a road that you have never been on, and you have the feeling it’s the exact road that you should be on?

Well, I’m on a journey and I’m taking that road.

I know that many of you just groaned when you read that.

I know that when people have said this kind of thing to me in the past I’ve probably rolled my eyes at them. I know that there have been occasions where I’ve put my own judgement or concern or confusion before my sense of curiosity.

But curious or confused…I’m on a journey.

It started many years ago, but it’s only in the last 6 months that I’ve really got it. Really understood the kind of work that I needed to do to make the most of this journey.

I made a commitment to myself at the end of last year. That commitment was to be focused. Focused on the important stuff in my business and life. Focused on the future. Focused on my personal wellbeing.

You see at the beginning, when I started my business, I was so focused on figuring out what I was supposed to do. Focused on creating a successful business. Focused on supporting everyone around me. Focused on getting stuff done.

I forgot to focus on me. My health suffered, my wellbeing decreased and with that my sense of fulfilment started to deplete.

I was still achieving, I was steadily growing my business, and I was clear about my purpose (although doubting it occasionally), which kept me going. It kept me fuelled, to a point.

I understood that I wasn’t being a good role model of what I was advocating. I was working with so many clients who would speak to me about their lack of focus, particularly on themselves, and I would coach them through and reconnect them with their personal wellbeing. All the while forgetting to do the same for myself.

Have you ever given so much to others that there is nothing left for you?

That’s how I was feeling. I felt guilty about turning the attention on my own wellbeing and wanted to continue giving to others. I’m a mum, a partner, and a business leader, so I of course often suffer with the SuperWomen Syndrome. I knew that I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing and that I needed to reconnect to my inner strength (the thing I call my SLAYER).

This is when I invented the word ‘self-full’.

Self-full means that you focus on yourself, you build your inner strength, and you take care of your own wellbeing in an active way. Not to be selfish, but to fill yourself full of strength to enable that strength to be used by others.

It’s difficult to give to a drink to others, when your cup is empty.

So this year my commitment to myself is to be ‘self-full’. I want to be strong and full because I have so much that I want to give. I need to fill my cup so I can have enough to share.

This is where my journey became a challenge. I knew what to do, but I was finding that I had created a block in my own mindset and thinking because I’d gotten myself into a bad habit of thinking that self-full was selfish.

I tried and tried to do it myself. I knew what I had to do, but something kept getting in my way. I had to flip my thinking.

It was just after Christmas that I woke up one morning with the overwhelming feeling that I was not taking my own advice again.   I knew it was time for a change and it was time to ask for help. I have a business coach that I regularly call on for business advice, but what I need was a mind coach. Someone to speak to the part of my mind that was not being heard or cared for.

That’s when I called my friend Tracy and said, ‘its time. I need your help’.

Thankfully, and gratefully, she was happy to help. You see Tracy is a Coach who uses Hypnosis to help people to focus on the things that they have stopped focusing on. After the first session I could feel an immediate improvement in the way I was thinking and approaching my wellbeing. The second session has left me wondering why I hadn’t started this process years ago. Even just the deep sense of relaxation and clarity is bliss.

Hypnosis is probably not for everyone, but it has been the right intervention for me. I have a wellness coach who helps me with food and exercise choices, but I was struggling to take in much of what she was teaching. I could intellectualise what she was saying, but because of this block, I couldn’t implement.

Knowing and doing are very different things.

I already knew what to do. But knowing and doing is different. I knew that my mind was making me unwell but I didn’t have the ability to change it by myself, and believe me I tried. Once I had the help to change it, I was ready to move forward with my learning. Sometimes it takes more than the want and know-how to get the job done. Sometimes it takes a guiding expert hand to move you to a place where you can do that things that you ‘already know’.

Tracy is assisting me to remove the block which means that the teaching from my wellness coach is sinking in and has become actionable.

I will continue to write about my experiences with Hypnosis and my focus journey, because I think it’s a useful addition to the work that I do. So many people that I have worked with have had blocks that have stopped them from being the leader, the success and the person that they want to be, so I know I’m not alone on this journey.

And plus its just absolutely fascinating to explore the thoughts, sensations and feelings that you experience through the process. In my daily video blog I explore these insights.

I’m on a journey.

www.michelletholland.com/emailsub

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